Friday, April 16, 2010

I Surrender

I think almost any woman who has ever been pregnant can relate to the feelings I have been battling. There comes a time in pregnancy when I just feel that I am ready to have this baby. Approaching the due date is clouded by a whole mess of emotions: expectancy, excitement, anxiety, maybe a little fear... And based on my previous experience, sitting around while your due date passes you by multiplies those emotions to the "n"th degree!!! I've been secretly (or maybe not so secretly, but at least quietly) hoping that this baby does not hold out for weeks after she's due. I have come up with theories in my own mind of why I think it's plausible that baby girl makes a timely entrance - even dare I think it, early. I have 3 due dates in my head. There is the first one I got when calculating from the LMP (April 23), then the calculated one at my first ultra sound which read April 28th. But the one my doctor's office settled on and the one I've been really trying to keep in my head so not to be discouraged was from my second ultrasound. May 3rd. You can probably tell I've been thinking a lot about this- despite my best effort to not get wrapped up in a due date...

Tonight, before turning in to bed I just had to go peek in on Riley fast asleep. Don't get me wrong, I am all for letting sleeping babies lie, but tonight I just had to pick him up and hold him. As we sat in his dark room, swaying on the glider with his perfect little body cupped on my lap and sweet little head resting soundly on my chest I came to a turning point in my attitude. Every moment that I have with him before baby girl is born is to be cherished! This is the end of the era where my full attention is wrapped around Riley. Why am I wanting to rush into the role of mommy to two? It's time to stop and just smell the roses... and enjoy my little baby boy. If baby girl comes 10 days late, like my Riley did.. So be it. When she comes she will be a welcomed and cherished part of the family too but for now I choose not to overlook what I have as I await what is to come!

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." Psalm 62:5

5 comments:

JonandLo said...

sweet post...love those precious moments. good luck w/ delivery # 2... I hope it goes a bit more smoothly than the first one =)

UNKYBUNCH said...

So true, so true! It never will be the same...not that it is bad, but we do forget about that in the moment sometimes! Its amazing the transition that takes place when one becomes two, two become three, three become four and so on!! Love ya friend!!

Chey's Dad said...

I'm truly touched by your introspection and tenderness!
But now you can have "your most favorite little boy" and "your most favorite little girl"... just like we have.

Mom said...

I loved your specisl thoughts, and your special snuggle with Riley. He is SO special! And he'll still be special when baby girl arrives!! We'll have twice as much specialness in our lives!!!

Jenny Brooks said...

Chey, very well said. If only, all of our kids could be "only" children sometimes. I cherished a sweet lunch with Ben today, cuz Lydia was sleeping, and it was just so nice being able to talk with him without Lydia clamouring for attention. Then there are times, where I wish it was just Lydia and me, because she has never gotten personal one on one attention. Well, when Ben's in preschool, but it's not the same as how Ben got individual attention all the time! Anyway....living in the moment is the perfect way to live. the good thing is, that with kids, they cause you to do that! Funny, I'm typing this, after Rob fell asleep on the couch and I fell asleep in Ben's bed. He goes to sleep fine, but sometimes, I just need an extra snuggle!